


Haunted (by this fear)

by baevenreyes



Series: Trampoline Park AU [14]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Minor Violence, The violence isn't really graphic but Maggie does get shot so, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-26 02:53:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9858908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baevenreyes/pseuds/baevenreyes
Summary: Maggie gets shot protecting an innocent kid.orAlex loves Maggie too much to even consider losing her.(This one-shot elaborates on the time Maggie got shot as mentioned in Tell Me Why (the world isn't perfect). You don't need to read that to understand this, just know that *SPOILER* Maggie lives to tell the tale.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to my new internet friend @adlerre on Tumblr (@SarcasticMusician on here) for asking for this :) I felt inspired and wrote it in two days! (Also check out her stuff!)
> 
> (Posting this even though I should be studying but meh)
> 
> I hope you like it!

_Always be with your partner._

_Never go in alone._

_Make sure you’re partnered up at all times._

It’s one of the first things they teach you at the academy. And Maggie knows it, Maggie applies it. Maggie was top of her graduating class six months ago. She _knows_ not to go into the warehouse alone, not to chase the perp alone, not to try and be a goddamn hero before backup gets there. It’s against protocol, and it’s _dangerous._ Maggie has a girlfriend to get home to, a girlfriend who just moved in with her a month ago, so she obeys. She follows the rules, because she has a dangerous job, and the rules are there to get her back to Alex in one piece.

_Never go in alone._

Maggie knows it, and Maggie applies it in the field every day.

But, well, when she goes into the small hole-in-the-wall shop at the end of her shift as they’re heading back from patrol, she doesn’t think to ask Tim to accompany her into the shop. She’s just getting milk and bread, because her girlfriend texted her to let her know they’re out. She’s just getting flowers for Alex because midterms are coming up and her beautiful girl is stressed, is tired, needs a little more affection. She’s just popping in to say hi to Roy behind the counter, to hear how he feels about that physics exam she knows he has coming up. She’s already off duty, they’re just taking the squad car back to the station, so she doesn’t think about the golden rule.

Later, Maggie thanks her lucky stars that she’s so tiny. She’ll never admit it to Alex, but her being so short and small is what saves her and Roy that day.

Because she’s hidden behind one of the shelves when everything goes quiet, and she immediately drops down before carefully, carefully looking around it to see someone pointing a gun at Roy. Her heart drops into her shoes, but she stays still, stays quiet. Puts her left hand on her gun and waits for her moment. Because she’s trained for this, damn it, and Roy is only fifteen, she _won’t_ let him be another statistic, another example of a poor black kid who was at the wrong place at the wrong time.

“Okay, kid, just put all the money in the bag. No one needs to get hurt.”

Maggie takes a quick stock of the shop. It’s only the three of them in there, thank God. Her next move is to size up the gunman. He can’t be much older than Roy, he’s got the tiniest bit of stubble on his face, and he’s quite obviously young and terrified. He’s visibly shaking, and Maggie knows a desperate kid when she sees one. Her attention shifts back to Roy, who’s trying to get the cash register open, but is shaking so hard his finger can’t find the button.

“Come on! Stop stalling!”

The gunman slings his arm around, trying to sound tough, brave, everything he isn’t. Roy keeps fiddling with the cash register, unable to open it, while Maggie takes advantage of the momentary distraction to slip closer to the front of the store. She’s right behind the culprit now, and quietly stands up. She wants Roy to see her. To calm him down, so she can signal to him to get down when she makes herself known, because she knows the second there’s a cop involved, this other kid is going to shoot.

But Roy, poor, sweet, _terrified_ Roy, lets relief wash over his face when he sees her, and the gunman is suddenly facing her. His eyes are huge in terror, and he’s shaking even worse now, his finger slightly tighter on the trigger. Maggie doesn’t go for her gun, she doesn’t want to spook him.

“Look, kid, you don’t wanna do this. Put down the gun and we can talk.”

“If I do that, you’ll arrest me.”

“Yeah. But for attempted armed robbery, not attempted murder. C’mon, kid. Just trust me. I want to help you. Put the gun down.”

“I can’t… I can’t _do_ that!”

His shaking is getting worse and Maggie knows this is coming to a head. So she makes a judgment call.

“Okay. Listen, just let Roy out of here, okay? Show me some good will. Roy will leave, and then we’ll get you out of here without the need for anyone getting hurt or arrested. How about that?”

She’s bluffing. She’s lying to this kid through her teeth and she feels terrible because she knows he’s spending the night in a jail cell, at _least_ , but she _has_ to get Roy out of here before he gets hurt. She can’t pull her gun while there’s a possibility of him getting caught in the cross fire. This is what she signed up for, damn it. Protecting people.

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

He nods and lowers the gun slightly, and at Maggie’s nod Roy slowly heads out the door. She takes the opportunity to pull her own gun, but she doesn’t point it at the other kid. Not yet. Every muscle in her body is tense, though, ready. He looks back to her, betrayal shining in his eyes.

“You were lying.”

“Yeah. Sorry, kid, I had to get him out of here. You’re going to have to come with me. But listen, this isn’t so bad. You didn’t actually hurt anyone, okay? I can still help you. Just put down the gun.”

He looks like he’s going to do it. The fight leaves his eyes and his shoulders slump, but Maggie doesn’t allow herself to relax. He starts lowering the gun, and he’s just about to put it on the ground when the door to the shop opens with a bang.

“Police! Hands on your head!”

It’s a knee-jerk reaction, really. His whole body becomes rigid, and he accidently pulls the trigger. There’s a loud bang Maggie’s all too familiar with, followed by an excruciating pain in her right shoulder. The force in such close quarters is enough to knock her back, and she falls, knocking her head on a shelf. She manages to see her partner tackling the kid to the ground, though her vision is swimming. She has two thoughts before everything goes black.

_Damn it, Tim, I had it._

_God, I hope Alex knows how much I love her._

***

Maggie’s mom calls her. Maggie’s _mom_ calls her and Alex panics, because she can count the times she’s spoken to Angelina Sawyer alone on one hand, so if the woman is calling her there must be something horribly wrong.

“Mrs. Sawyer?”

“It’s her dad.”

And now Alex is even more worried, because she’s had one conversation with Lawrence Sawyer and it ended with _we don’t support this lesbian thing, Alexandra, so don’t even bother trying to impress me._

“Mr. Sawyer.”

“Listen, I know I’ve been horrible to you, but the police just called, and Maggie… Maggie’s in the hospital, Ms. Danvers, she’s been shot.”

Alex’s world crumbles. Because Maggie, Maggie, Maggie has been shot and all Alex’s worst nightmares are coming to fruition and oh god did she tell Maggie she loves her this morning? She’s been so busy revising for midterms, when’s the last time she actually told her? Fuck, what’ll she do if-

“… can only be there early tomorrow morning, so would you please go to the hospital? They need someone to fill out the forms.”

She tunes back into the conversation just in time to get the end of Mr. Sawyer’s sentence, and pulls herself together. As together as she can get, anyway. Maggie needs her.

“Of course, Mr. Sawyer. Do you know which hospital she’s at?”

He tells her and she’s out the door in two seconds flat.

She doesn’t worry about the fact that she’s still in her sweats and tank from studying, that her hair’s a fucking mess, that she’s wearing her glasses and not her contacts. She doesn’t care that she’s hoping to intern at this hospital in two years, and that they’re all going to remember her as this mess of a girl. Maggie’s been shot and Alex is terrified and so Alex just _goes_.

Because she knows the second she sees Maggie, sees her smile, sees her eyes, sees her _breathe_ , everything will be alright. When she sees Maggie, she’ll be able to breathe again, and this heavy weight in her stomach will disappear. She doesn’t _care_ that other people are going to see her.

She just needs to see _Maggie._

***

They won’t let her see her.

She’s not a doctor yet, she’s not Maggie’s wife, she’s not Maggie’s emergency contact (which, how? She’s sure they changed both of theirs when they moved in together. She checks, Maggie’s definitely hers. Why hasn’t Maggie changed it?) and she’s not family, and until Maggie’s parents get here to give their permission, she can’t see her girlfriend.

And she would have been able to deal with that, maybe, but they won’t _tell_ her anything, either.

Other than that they had to operate, they _can’t tell her anything_ because she can’t call Maggie’s parents to get permission because they’re on a fucking plane to New York because _their daughter was shot_ and Alex doesn’t know if she’s okay, if she’s actually in any danger, if she’s even still-

No, Alex refuses to go there.

She _refuses._

Maggie is going to be okay.

She _has_ to.

She _will._

She manages to distract herself with filling out Maggie’s forms for about ten minutes, and then she’s just sitting, her knee bouncing. At least, until a surly looking teenage boy gives her a glare, and she concentrates on keeping her body still. That only manages to occupy her thoughts for another five minutes before the anxiety is running away with her again. What if, what if, what if – it feels like her heart is beating to the beat of those two words, and it’s just getting faster and faster and faster and god, she can’t deal with this by herself, she needs- well, she really needs Maggie, she always thinks of Maggie when she’s extra stressed, and it _always_ calms her down, but not this time, no, this time it just fills her with more anxiety because what if she doesn’t get to add any more images of Maggie to her _open when stressed_ folder? What if the way Maggie smiles when Alex calls her a dork is the last memory-

No.

She needs to talk to someone.

 _Right now_.

***

“Mom?”

“Alex? What’s wrong?”

“I… I’ll tell you in a bit, Mom. Can I… can I talk to Kara for a second first? Please.”

“Sure, Alex, I’ll get her.”

It had hit Alex suddenly. What did she used to have in the little stress folder in her head before Maggie? Before this wonderful, wonderful girl came into her life and made the world a less scary place? The answer was simple.

“Alex?”

“Kara.”

Alex sighs out her name. Her sister. Her little sister who is nothing but pure and good and _calming_.

“Is everything okay? You sound sad.”

And perceptive, apparently.

“I’m… I’m scared, Kara.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Maggie… well, Kar, Maggie got hurt, like, really hurt, and… and I don’t know if she’s okay. And that scares me.”

“You’re always telling me not to worry about what I can’t change.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, did you do everything you can to help her?”

“Yeah.”

“Then you just gotta wait, Alex.”

“I know. I’m just, I’m so _scared._ ”

“I think that’s okay. Maggie’d probably like it that you’re scared for her, you know?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re allowed to be scared, Alex. Just don’t let it win.”

“Yeah.”

“She’ll be okay.”

“How do you know?”

“You gotta believe, Alex, that’s what you’re always telling me.”

“Yeah.”

“Say it.”

“Say what?”

“That Maggie’s going to be okay.”

“Maggie’s going to be okay.”

“Again.”

“Maggie’s going to be okay.”

“You believe it yet?”

Alex manages a small smile.

“Yeah. A little bit.”

“That’s all you need, Alex. D’you want Mom back?”

“Yeah. Thanks, Kara. I love you.”

“Love you too. She’s going to be okay, Alex. I know it.”

When her mother comes back on the line, Alex is calm enough to tell her everything. She gets through what she knows, which is not a lot, without breaking. Barely. Just barely, she manages to hold herself together. At least until-

“Honey, she’s going to be okay. That girl is way too stubborn to-“

Alex lets out a choked laugh that turns into a broken sob before her mother can finish, which is good, because she’s not ready to face that word, to think of the possibility that Maggie might-

No.

“She’ll be okay.” Her voice is small and her face is wet, but she says the words with conviction. Because Kara is right, even if she is only nine years old. She _has_ to believe that Maggie is going to make it out.

“She will.”

“Do you need to go?”

“No, honey, I’ll stay on the line with you as long as you need.”

“I don’t have anything more to say, but I don’t want to be alone.”

“Then you won’t, sweetie. How about I tell you about Kara’s science project? She was highly inspired by that book you bought her about the planets, wait, let me put you on speaker, she’s jumping out of her skin…”

And Alex listens to her mom and her sister tell her all about the mobile Kara is making for school, and _it’s really gonna turn, Alex_ and _I put Pluto in because you said it would always be a planet to you_ and _thanks again for that awesome book, Alex._ She listens to them talk and she listens to them breathe, because they’re alive, alive, _alive,_ and as long as she can hold on to that, she can hold on to Maggie. Hold on to the belief that she’s alive, alive, alive, too.

***

Alex has always been a little afraid of Lawrence and Angelina Sawyer. Maggie’s parents aren’t exactly horrible, like, they didn’t kick Maggie out or anything, but it just wasn’t a very _welcoming_ home. That’s how Maggie described it, anyway. And Alex was inclined to agree after the way Lawrence pulled her aside and made her understand that he and his wife would never support the relationship.

So, Alex has always been wary of the Sawyers. But, god, she hopes she doesn’t look as terrified around them as this doctor looks right now.

“You mean to tell me Maggie has been out of surgery for _six hours_ – almost the entire time that Alex has been sitting here – and you didn’t _tell_ the poor girl?”

And just the fact that Mrs. Sawyer is calling her Alex, not the stiff _Alexandra_ she’s grown somewhat used to, warms Alex’s heart. Not to mention that if she’s not mistaken, the woman is _defending_ her, which, if she’s honest, is kind of surreal.

“Look at her, she’s a mess, she’s been crying! She’s been sitting here for _hours_ and you don’t even have the decency to tell her at least that Maggie’s _okay_? That the shot was through and through, that she wasn’t even really in that much danger, that she’s just sleeping off all the pain medication? Shame on you, doctor, and I really hope you _feel_ it. You let this girl think that the girl she loves could be _dead,_ when you could have taken that pain away from her with a sentence or two. _Shame on you._ ”

“She’s not-“

“She’s not what? _Important_ enough? One look at this girl’s face, doctor, and you know. You know she’s important. And how did you think she knew everything to fill in on those forms? Use your brain next time, doctor. I also know for a fact that Alex here is my daughter’s emergency contact since last month, so I don’t know what’s wrong with your system, but you better fix it. And now, if you don’t mind, we’d like to see our daughter.”

“She’s only permitted one visitor-“

Angelina gives him a glare and he doesn’t even finish his sentence.

“Follow me.”

Alex falls into step beside Maggie’s father as the doctor leads them down a seemingly endless hallway. They enter a room, and Alex’s breath hitches at the sight of Maggie looking impossibly small on the hospital bed, her right arm in a sling and bandages poking out from under the thin hospital gown. She holds back, but all she wants to do is dart forward and run her fingers through Maggie’s hair, down her neck, to her chest. She just wants to feel Maggie _breathe_ for a second, because even though she can see her chest moving up and down, her head isn’t believing her eyes. She needs to _feel._

But she doesn’t. She stays a respectable distance away and lets the Sawyers touch her first, because that’s their _daughter_ and they’re probably even more scared than she is. Well, maybe not. They can’t love Maggie as much as Alex does, not when they treated her the way they treated her, but they’re still her parents.

“She should be awake soon.”

The doctor gives a terrified nod and can’t get out of the room quickly enough, and Alex feels a little out of place. She shifts on the spot, trying not to stare, but her eyes just keep coming back to Maggie, Maggie, Maggie, to making sure that her chest is still steadily rising and falling, that her nostrils are flaring, that she’s breathing, breathing, breathing. Maggie’s mother has a hand on Maggie’s arm, and Lawrence has a comforting hand on his wife’s back, and they’re also watching, taking in the fact that Maggie is _alive,_ she’s _okay_ , she’s _breathing._

“Alex?”

Angelina is looking at her with so much affection that Alex doesn’t really know what to do with it, and she fights the need to squirm under the woman’s gaze. She’s Alex Danvers, for goodness’ sake.

“Do you want to come over here?”

Alex tries very hard to go over to the bed at an acceptable pace. She does, she really does. But _god,_ she’s been waiting – _worrying_ – for almost eight hours, and she needs to feel Maggie’s skin on hers.

Maggie’s hand is warm, a little too warm, but it makes her seem so much more _alive_ that Alex can’t control the single tear that slips down her cheek. She fights the urge to press her lips to Maggie’s forehead, she doesn’t want the Sawyers freaking out and making her leave. She doesn’t take her eyes off Maggie when Mr. Sawyer begins speaking.

“Alex… we… we’ll talk about all of this properly, when Maggie wakes up, but… you need to know, we’re sorry.”

That has Alex looking up, and she can’t hide the surprise in her eyes.

“We… we were so wrong, to treat Maggie like we did, to treat _you_ like we did, we… I could make a million excuses, but the truth is, Alex, we were wrong and we are sorry. And we _will_ be making up for it. We love our daughter, and we know you love her too. So we will be talking about it with both of you, and we will be trying to be better.”

He holds her eyes with his, and she’s struck by how similar they are to Maggie’s now that they’ve softened somewhat. She smiles at him, more tears leaking from her eyes.

“Thank you, sir. That… that means a lot.”

He nods, and takes his wife’s hand.

“We’ll go to the cafeteria, give you some time alone.”

Alex nods at them, Angelina sending her a small smile before closing the door behind her. When they’re gone, Alex breaks. She sinks down, her head on Maggie’s stomach, clutching her hand for dear life. She can feel her tears soaking through the sheets, but she _really_ doesn’t care right now. She can _feel_ Maggie breathing, her chest rising and falling and rising and falling, and that’s all that matters.

“I was so scared, Mags, so fucking scared. I can’t… I can’t think about losing you, I can’t, you’re… you are _everything_ to me, I… I love you so much. I don’t… I don’t want to leave your side, ever, I don’t want to have to imagine my life without you in it. You… you have to stay alive, okay? You _have_ to.”

“Danvers?”

Her voice is weak and her voice is soft and if Alex’s head wasn’t currently pressed into Maggie’s stomach she probably wouldn’t have noticed, but as it is she feels Maggie’s voice vibrate through her whole being.

“Mags.” It’s just as soft, as she stands up to remove Maggie’s hair from her face. “You’re okay.”

She knows her eyes are flitting across Maggie’s face, unable to stay still, unable to focus on anything other than the fact that Maggie is alive, alive, _alive_ , and Maggie’s looking at her and Maggie’s eyebrows are creasing.

“Have you been crying?”

“Have I been- Maggie, you went and got yourself shot! Of course I’ve been crying! What did I tell you on your first day?”

“Don’t get shot?”

“Don’t get shot. That counts for every day after, too, you know.”

She’s trying to joke about it, but her heart is still beating a little too fast and she still feels a little bit terrified, and Maggie, perfect Maggie, notices, because of course she does.

“I’m sorry. For scaring you.”

And Alex breaks again, leaning down to press her face into Maggie’s neck, and Maggie’s left arm comes up to scratch at her lower back.

“I was so scared.”

“I know, baby, and I’m so sorry.”

“I love you too much.”

“I love you more.”

“That’s impossible.”

“Agree to disagree.”

“Okay.”

“Alex?”

“Yeah?”

“Will you kiss me?”

Alex kisses her softly, kisses her slowly, kisses her carefully. Then she kisses her eyes, her nose, her cheeks, her forehead, before finding her way back into Maggie’s neck, breathing in the scent of the girl she loves.

They stay like that, for how long Alex doesn’t know, just feeling each other breathe, occasionally trading soft reassurances of love, of _life._ They stay like that, and by the time Maggie’s parents come back, Alex is calm. Alex is calm and Alex steps outside, because now she doesn’t need to look at Maggie every two seconds to make sure she’s still there, and Maggie’s parents need to talk to her.

And Alex needs to call her sister and thank her for keeping her sane, for being right, for believing.

Because Kara was right and Maggie is okay.

***

Maggie’s parents have just left, after talking (long and serious and not without tears) to both girls, to go check into their hotel, when there’s a small knock on the door. Alex gets up to open it, and is met with a shy teenage boy.

“Is this Officer Sawyer’s room?”

Before Alex can reply, Maggie lets her voice be heard from over in the bed.

“Roy?”

The boy’s face breaks out into a grin, and Alex lets him step past her, into the room and up to Maggie. He places a vase with yellow roses next to Maggie’s bed, and she takes his hand, smiling reassuringly at him.

“You okay?” Maggie asks, and Roy scoffs. “You’re asking _me_ that? You got yourself shot, Officer.”

“Yeah.”

Maggie shrugs, wincing when the action causes pain in her injured shoulder. Roy’s face goes from joking to sombre in a split second.

“You saved my life.”

Alex perks up. Saved his life? Maggie was just about to tell her what happened when they got interrupted, she hasn’t heard the story yet.

“I mean, I know you were just doing your job, but…”

“It’s not just my job, Roy. I will always protect you, okay? I gave you my number for a reason. You ever need anything, you don’t hesitate to call me. Got it?”

The boy nods, and Maggie grins. She turns to Alex.

“Remember that kid I told you about? The one who wants to be a doctor?”

“Yeah?”

Alex gives Roy an encouraging smile.

“Well, meet Roy Adams! This is my girlfriend Alex, Roy, remember I told you about her? She’s on her second year of medical school.”

He comes over to shake Alex’s hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. You’re every bit as beautiful as Officer Sawyer says.”

Alex blushes because she's still in her sweats and tank and glasses and she feels anything but beautiful, but Maggie grins and Roy balks. “I… I didn’t mean to say that.”

“Don’t worry, kid, I’m still struck dumb by her beauty every day, and we’ve been together for more than three years.”

That just makes Alex blush harder, and she takes Maggie’s hand to intertwine their fingers. Roy grins at the two of them, and then starts when he catches sight of the clock on the wall.

“I gotta get to school, I just wanted to drop those off. I hope you feel better soon, Officer Sawyer.”

“Thank you, Roy, I appreciate it.”

He grins again, hiking his backpack up his shoulder and heading out the door with a last awkward wave. Alex looks down at her beautiful, wonderful, _hero_ of a girlfriend.

“I get it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Good.”

“Just… try to save their lives without losing yours, okay?”

“I’ll do my best, Danvers. I do have someone to come home to, after all.”

***

Maggie Sawyer hates being bored.

She’s not allowed to go back to work yet. She has to be off active duty for two weeks, at least, and it’s probably going to be more than that. She sighs, listening for the tell tale sound of her girlfriend scraping her pencil on paper in the next room. Alex had tried studying in the room with her, but Maggie was, in Alex’s words, _too fucking distracting._ So she’s banished herself to their small kitchen, where Maggie can hear her sigh.

“Babe?”

The pencil is put down.

“Yeah?”

“D’you think you could take a break?”

“I’ve only been at it for an hour and a half.”

“Your brain needs breaks.”

“Not yet, it doesn’t.”

“Fine, _I_ need you to take a break.”

Another sigh, and then – victory! – soft footsteps coming to the bedroom.

“Need me, huh?”

Alex is leaning against the doorframe and she’s smirking and god, Maggie loves her.

“Always, Danvers.”

Alex’s smirk turns into a lovesick grin and Maggie just _melts_ as she pads over and lays down next to her, propping her head up on her hand to still be able to look at the smaller girl. She leans down to kiss her softly, her other hand coming to rest in Maggie’s neck, her thumb stroking a cheek. Maggie tries to deepen the kiss, but Alex pulls back.

“Ah, ah, ah. The doctor said no rigorous activity.”

“It doesn’t have to be rigorous,” Maggie grumbles, though she knows it won’t work. God knows she’s tried enough times.

“I don’t want to take the chance, baby.”

Alex pulls the strap of her tank top down to place a barely there kiss on _that spot_ over the bandages on Maggie’s right shoulder, just under her collar bone, and Maggie melts again.

“I couldn’t bear the thought of hurting you.”

“Fine,” Maggie says, huffing playfully. “Will you at least hold me?”

Alex answers by slipping her arms around Maggie’s waist and pulling her girlfriend into her chest.

“That I can do.”

Maggie presses her lips to the taller girl’s neck.

“I love you, Alex Danvers.”

“I love you too, Maggie Sawyer. Always.”

***

**Author's Note:**

> As always, please let me know what you thought in the comments, and send any prompts my way on Tumblr. @bi-genius
> 
> I love you all :)


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